When Different Brains Fall in Love: An Honest Guide to Cross-Neurotype Relationships

My wife and I have a recurring conversational style that goes something like this: I'm in the middle of explaining something that matters to me, and before I finish the first 15 seconds, she's already somewhere else. From her perspective, she was connected, building on what I said. From mine, I've been talking to the ceiling.

We've gone through this cycle more times than I can count. Both of us are certain the other doesn't listen. Both of us, I've come to believe, are partly right.

I'm a late-diagnosed autistic adult. My wife is, as far as we know, neurotypical. We're both therapists. We both have a history of trauma. We're both, it turns out, surprisingly bad at applying our training to each other.

This is what I've learned.